


Wall of Lies

by PetitPotato (LittleBrownStone)



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2012-12-01
Packaged: 2017-11-20 00:55:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBrownStone/pseuds/PetitPotato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once again, Natsume receives a dangerous task from some Ayakashi and while he tries to keep Tanuma safe by lying to him, he has to realise that he is actually missing something.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wall of Lies

When Natsume walked into his room, still cold and ruffled from the autumn wind, a bunch of wildly assorted Ayakashi of different shapes and sizes was already waiting for him in his room.

With a sigh of resignation, Natsume let his bag drop on the ground and let his gaze wander in search for Nyanko-Sensei.

"What are you guys doing in here?" he asked finally.

"Those are my new friends!" came a drunkenly screeched reply from under the table and an empty bottle rolled towards Natsume's feet, followed by Nyanko-Sensei's red face. "They brought some really fine Sake," he slurred, "you should be friends with them too!"

Natsume let his gaze slide back to the Ayakashi. The situation was slowly sinking in.

"We're here to ask for help, Natsume-sama," one of the Ayakashi finally spoke, while the others simultaneously stretched out on the floor in deep bows. "We hope that our humble offering is enough to win your favour."

"N…no!" Natsume already had enough of this. He was just back from school and had other plans for the day then helping out Ayakashi who thought that making his cat drunk was exactly the right way to earn his good will.

"Natsume! Don't be rude to your new friends!" Nyanko-Sensei berated him from under the table, "More Sake pleaaaase…!"

The Ayakashi seemed to ignore him though, now that Natsume himself was present.

"Please listen to us, Natsume-sama," the Ayakashi pleaded, "All of us are in danger. Someone that has been sleeping for many years has been unleashed. The seal has been broken only few days ago but many of our friends and relatives have suffered already. Hijishi… He's furious…"

"Hijishi? What are you're talking about?" Natsume asked, "is he some kind of Youkai?"

All of the Ayakashi nodded at once, "He's an old Youkai who has been sealed for far too long, so he doesn't want to go back now."

"So, how am I supposed to help you? I'm not an exorcist, I don't know how to seal away Youkai," Natsume sighed. Maybe he'd be able to talk himself out of this after all. "If his name isn't in the book of friends, then there's not much I can do," he added.

"There is a way!" the leading Ayakashi spoke, "but that's also why you have to hurry. When Hijishi was sealed away for the first time, he was bound to a holy object and buried. As long as the object remains intact, he can be buried again easily. Half of his power is sealed in the object, so there's till a chance to do it now."

"If it's so easy, what do you need me for?" Natsume already knew that if it had really been that easy, the Ayakashi wouldn't have sought him out.

"Well…" the Ayakashi began, "apparently the object has been lost. Finding it is a matter of time tough. Hijishi is hunting for it too. Destroying the object is his only chance to regain his full power and it will take an exorcist of exceptional power to bind him to a new one so he could be buried again… "

"Then it's my job to find the object before it is destroyed by Hijishi and to burry them together?" Natsume summed it up in a monotone voice. He didn't like it: A wild and furious Youkai strolling around the forest, seeking to become even stronger.

"It's quite easy actually," the Ayakashi nodded eagerly, "find the object, bring it back to where Hijishi escaped and burry it."

"And…" Natsume began for he had that particular feeling that the task was not as easy as the Ayakashi wanted to make it out, "what is this object I'm looking for and where do I have to put it?"

All the Ayakashi just stared at him with hopeful eyes and Natsume felt his stomach sink. "Don't tell me you don't know," he sighed. Perfect, just perfect. When Ayakashi or Youkai bothered to come to him for help you could always be sure that it was something too troublesome for them to do on their own.

The Ayakashi kept staring at him with pleading gazes.

"Come on, Natsume," he heard Nyanko-Sensei's obnoxious voice, "three more bottles of Sake and he'll do it!" he slurred to the Ayakashi.

"Sensei, no!" Natsume was about to protest but the Ayakashi had already nodded humbly and turned to open the window, so they could leave the same way they apparently had arrived. "No, wait a moment…!" Natsume shouted but the Ayakashi didn't listen and just kept jumping out of the window one after another. "Thank you, Natsume-sama!" the leading Ayakashi, who came last, waved at him and then they were all gone.

"You can't just decide those things!" Natsume shouted at the useless fat cat, "Especially, don't sell me for booze!" "You would help them anyway, so why can't I enjoy a little more of what I like," Nyanko-Sensei lazily rolled over and looked up at Natsume with blurry eyes.

"You better sober up quickly," Natsume grumbled, "I'm not going to look for that Youkai's stuff on my own."

"I'm always sober," Nyanko-Sensei cried but Natsume wasn't listening anymore. He had turned around to change his school uniform for some causal clothes and was now about to leave the room.

"I'm going over to Tanuma's place," he grumbled and shut the door before Nyanko-Sensei could make another drunken reply.

The new Youkai job seemed important but with Nyanko-Sensei drunk and useless, Natsume had another thing to attend to. He hadn't seen Tanuma for several days now since the other boy had once again fallen ill. Natsume was concerned for his friend but hoped it to be just a regular cold. Though, with Tanuma one never knew.

Tanuma was Natsume's best friend. When they met for the first time, Natsume was excited to finally have found someone like him: Someone who also knew about spirits. However, he soon had to realise that they were much more different then he had expected. While they both knew about the spirits' existence, Natsume was the only one who could see them clearly. Tanuma couldn't see much but occasional shadows and feel spiritual presences. More so, those presences often made him sick and it was painful for Natsume to watch how vulnerable his friend actually was. Because of this, Natsume had decided long ago not to involve Tanuma in anything even potentially dangerous. Sometimes, it was easier to lie and to pretend that everything was fine and that he couldn't see either.

When Natsume rang the bell, it took quite some time for Tanuma to open the door. He was wrapped in a blanket and obviously looking sick. He was visibly surprised to see Natsume and instantly took a step back into the room.

"I didn't know you were coming," he muttered and his gaze wandered from Natsume back to the floor, "You shouldn't have…"

"You haven't been to school for days, I just wanted to check on you," Natsume felt a little taken aback by Tanuma's reply, "Your dad's not home? Are you alone?" he asked with great concern. He didn't like how Tanuma's father often went away for work, leaving his son alone for sometimes a whole month at a time.

"Just for a few days," Tanuma answered with a weak smile, "It's nothing, really. Just a simple cold. I don't want to pass it on to you, so we shouldn't…" The sentence was interrupted by coughing fit and Natsume instinctively reached out for Tanuma, trying to support him. He could feel the other boy shiver under his touch, his eyes still fixed on the floor.

Natsume didn't feel right to impose on his friend but Tanuma clearly looked like he needed some company.

Natsume sighed, "You aren't trying to hide anything, are you?" He was already used to this pattern when it came to Tanuma and it was really more of a bother then actual help.

"What? No," Tanuma protested and his eyes shot back up to Natsume, "I… I'm ok, really. I mean, I just need some rest, that's all," but his defence had already weakened.

"I won't stay long," Natsume said in a voice he hoped to be calming, "I just wanted to see you, ok?" he gave Tanuma's arm a gentle squeeze. He watched Tanuma waver for another short moment but finally he made a reluctant gesture for Natsume to come in. His hand still on his friend's arm, Natsume followed Tanuma to his room, where the other boy let himself fall back on his bed.

"Remember that heavy rainfall few days ago?" Tanuma asked slowly. Natsume nodded. He remembered well. It was autumn already and the past week had been a stormy one. Trees have been falling over from the strong wind and it was exactly that type of weather when you caught the worst colds.

"The rain started when I was still on my way home, I slipped in the forest, got all soaked and muddy," he laughed awkwardly and pulled his blanket further up.

Natsume sighed with both relief and concern for his friend. Maybe this time things were really as simple as that. "Kitamoto has given me homework for you," Natsume said, rummaging around in his bag, "Apparently, you've missed some important stuff," he handed the notes over.

"Thanks," Tanuma said with an apologetic smile, "I'll take care of that as soon as the head ache gets better."

"You need something?" Natsume asked, "I can make you some hot tea?"

Tanuma hesitated for a moment but then nodded. "You know where everything is."

The kitchen was dark and silent. Even though it was only afternoon, the heavy clouds swallowed up all sunlight. Natsume switched on the light, took out the teapot and poured some water. He was glad that nothing serious had happened and that apart from his cold, Tanuma was fine. It felt good to visit his friend. Being alone with Tanuma always calmed him down and Natsume was glad for the chance to forget about any Youkai business. He knew that his new task was already waiting for him and that later that day he would be scrambling around the forest, cold and tired, looking for some mysterious object he had never even seen before, trying to dodge a raging Youkai. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on the warm cup in his hands. The tea was ready to be served and he decided to leave his concerns behind, as he stepped out of the kitchen's door.

"Here you go," he held out one cup to Tanuma who took it carefully and shifted on the bed to make place for Natsume. "I'm glad you came," Tanuma sighed and let his head fall against Natsume's shoulder who had just settled next to him, "I've been lonely," he added at Natsume's questioning gaze, "it's the gloomy weather, I suppose."

Tanuma was right. This kind of weather was honestly depressing and Natsume too appreciated the company. Of course he had Nyanko-Sensei but the fat cat didn't exactly brighten up his days. "Mmh," Natsume hummed in agreement while he snuggled closer to Tanuma and took a careful sip of his tea.

They sat in silence for several minutes, simply enjoying the peaceful moment. The touches of their bodies seemed to be some kind of silent language that allowed them to communicate in a way words never quite managed. Natsume could feel by the way Tanuma was leaning on him that the past days had been stressful and that he was now giving in to exhaustion, finally accepting Natsume's support. Natsume relaxed too. The bothersome task that the Ayakashi had given to him now didn't seem as bad anymore. Being so close to Tanuma made him feel that he was not alone and that he could actually share his troubles, even if it was by the means of something as small and reassuring touches. In no way would he bother Tanuma with stories of evil Youkai rampaging around the forest. Especially not when his friend was sick, which was the perfect chance to keep him home and out of any potential danger. He wanted Tanuma by his side but he also knew that he wanted him to lean on his safe side. The one, he showed to humans. His other side, the one spirits saw, was to remain hidden.

He contemplated shifting even closer, crossing the line of simple friendship that had been blurred for quite some time now. Blurred, but never discarded, just as Natsume's resolution to keep his secrets hidden. He chose to remain just where he was: On the safe side.

He could feel Tanuma stir against him and cough quietly, then stretching to place the now empty tea cup on the bedside table. When he settled back next to Natsume, their eyes met and the silence was gone.

"So, what about you?" Tanuma asked, quickly averting his eyes "What have you been up to lately?"

Natsume felt his muscles tense. "Nothing, really," he mumbled, "there hasn't been much to do lately…"

"I see", Tanuma nodded slowly, "You didn't meet any new spirits, did you?"

"A small one. Yesterday, on my way from school," Natsume hoped that this lie sounded convincing enough. He knew, denying having seen any spirits at all would have been even more suspicious. "I haven't gone out much," he added.

Tanuma didn't reply. He nodded again and settled back next to Natsume, this time only their shoulders were slightly brushing against each other.

Suddenly, the silence felt awkward and Natsume shifted uncomfortably. He realised that his own tea cup had been empty for quiet some time now and he hurriedly stood up.

Tanuma was still watching him from the bed and Natsume instantly regretted the sudden movement.

"It's late," he spluttered, hastily looking for a clock. He didn't want to leave Tanuma alone, but also hated to lie to him. He was lying anyway, he admitted bitterly to himself. Still, it was always easier to lie about small things then having to avoid all the stories about spirits. The clock was at its usual place on the shelf, right next to some randomly assorted bells and prayer beads. Natsume pretended to look at the items with interest, so he wouldn't have to look at his friend. The bells and prayer beads instantly reminded him of Tanuma's father and he felt guilt rising inside of him.

"I'm sorry," he turned back to Tanuma, indicating that it was time for him to leave. He expected Tanuma to be disappointed, to smile politely as he always did, when he knew that Natsume didn't let him in on something, but this time, Tanuma seemed to pay little attention to Natsume's lie.

"It's ok," he said shortly, shakily getting up from the bed. For a moment, Natsume thought his friend was angry at him but again, Tanuma's thoughts just seemed to be occupied by something else.

"Get well soon," Natsume really meant it, when he gently patted Tanuma's arm, "See you soon."

"Don't worry, I'll be up and about in no time," Tanuma's usual reserved smile was back, as he waved him goodbye. Then the door closed and Natsume was alone, standing in front of the quiet temple. For a holy place it looked surprisingly dull and uninviting, Natsume thought.

The visit had not gone exactly as planned. After not having seen Tanuma for days, Natsume had expected their reunion to be a little bit more cheerful. Maybe, also a little bit more affectionate. Again, it was some Youkai's fault that he couldn't enjoy people's company just like any other person. He sighed with frustration, the rest of his day did not promise to get any better. He would walk home, just to find a still completely drunk Nyanko-Sensei, would argue with the cat, would then leave to look for some mysterious object he had never seen before. It would be dark by then and he would not come home until he was all soggy and frozen. He would have to answer to Touko-san and would have to tell even more lies…

Thinking like this, he slowly started walking towards the forest, away from the lonely temple. He had not walked far, as he heard trees rustling right behind him. At first, he thought it to be the harsh autumn wind, but then again, the rustling felt too near and too concentrated and suddenly, he was swept off his feet.

Natsume saw a blaze of bright red and the next moment, his back hit the muddy ground.

"Give it back…" he was pinned to the ground by mighty arms and two round yellow eyes were staring directly at him, "Give it back…" the Youkai growled. Natsume couldn't tell whether its shape had more resemblance to a human being or an animal but at this moment, he didn't care either way. It was huge and he knew that it was Hijishi, the Youkai who had broken free and was now searching for the very same object as Natsume.

"I don't have it!" Natsume screamed, trying to push Hijishi's head away from his face. From so close, he looked like a lion with a wild mane of red hair. Natsume struggled desperately but finally managed to deal him well placed blow with his knee and when Hijishi reared up, he rolled to the side, right into the bushes.

How had Hijishi managed to find him and why was he thinking that Natsume had the sacred object? It didn't make any sense. He quickly scrambled around the bush to get up but Hijishi had already seen him. Instantly, he dived towards Natsume, "Give it baaack!" he roared again. There was nothing to give back though, "Honestly, I don't know what you're looking for!" Natsume tried again, but the Youkai didn't seem to listen. It was time to run.

As quickly, as his feet would carry him, Natsume leapt over the bushes and right into the forest. Maybe, the trees would slow down the giant Youkai. Behind him, he could hear wood splinter and whole branches crush to the ground. Hijishi was furious. Natsume didn't know how long he'd be able to keep up his speed, he needed a place to hide. Tough, where to hide from a Youkai that was breaking down whole trees on the run? A diversion might help, but Natsume couldn't think of anything. He was too busy moving his feet and looking out for plants and roots so he would not fall. Where was Nyanko-Sensei, when one needed him most?!

In front of him, Natsume could see the trees clear, he stumbled and found himself right on some stony stairs. He knew, they were leading up to a small shrine and took a turn to hastily sprint up the old stairs. Hijishi's growls were following close by but he had not reached the stairs yet. Just in time, Natsume passed a big red Torii gate and when the Youkai finally jumped out from behind the trees, Natsume made a step to the side and quickly pressed his back to on of the gate's pillars. It was wide enough to cover him from view and Natsume tried to hold his breath, waiting for the Youkai's next move. The cold air was burning in his lungs and he gladly welcomed the short rest. Indeed, Hijishi had stopped now. His heavy breath was filling the air, but apart from that, everything was quiet.

"Please, let it go away," Natsume pleaded silently. This was his only chance. He didn't dare to look from behind the pillar but suddenly he could hear withdrawing steps. First slowly, then faster.

The Youkai's grunts disappeared in the distance and Natsume finally stepped out from his hiding place. Exhausted, Natsume let himself sink on the stairs. He was shaking all over from his quick run in the cold but there was no time to waste. The quick relief once again made place for nagging worry. The biggest question was "Why?" Why had the Youkai attacked him when he obviously did not have the wanted item? It was finally dawning on him. Maybe, Hijishi already knew that the Ayakashi had asked him to do the search. Maybe, he knew that sooner or later Natsume would be able to find what the two of them were looking for and now, Hijishi was only waiting to snatch it away from him. It was so easy: Hijishi wanted Natsume to do the job.

He stood up again. Of course, this put a great target on his back. Once again, he was a potential danger to anyone close to him which meant that he had to stay away until the item was recovered. He thought about Touko-san who would be worried sick and then about Tanuma, visiting whom was now completely out of question. Hijishi must have been following him for quite some time and he could feel a deep fear spread inside his stomach, when he realised that it was him, who had brought the Youkai so close to Tanuma's house. How could he be so stupid and selfish?! He should have stayed away from anyone ever since the Ayakashi had made their request. He should have known better.

As usual, Natsume's mind began wandering and every thought was leading to one and the same conclusion. He was dangerous, selfish and of no use to anyone.

"Stop it!" he finally yelled at his own mind.

Sitting here and sulking would neither find him the item, nor get rid of Hijishi. He needed to finally get going. The sooner he found the damn thing, the sooner everyone would be safe. He stood up and blankly stared at the stairs in front of him. He had still no idea where to look.

"I should ask some Ayakashi whether they've seen anything suspicious," he thought, "maybe I'll be able to find out where Hijishi first appeared." Right now, any kind of hint would mean a step into the right direction.

Slowly, he started walking. His clothes were muddy from when he had wrestled with the Youkai and the cold slowly crept into every part of his body. "It can't be helped, though," he sighed, as he pushed those thoughts aside and increased his pace.

There were some places, where spirits especially liked to gather and Natsume hoped that he would be able to find someone to ask questions. On his way, he was trying to recall any sacred object he had ever seen. Even though this limited his search, there still were too many possibilities. He thought about little statues peaking out from under bushes, but it couldn't be that easy or the Youkai would need him to do the searching. The object could have been covered in mud or stuck in a tree, invisible to the naked eye. It could have been taken far away by an animal and hidden in its cave. He wondered if spirits hated bad weather just as much as he did, for the forest looked deserted. Though, they could also be hiding away from Hijishi. He kept stumbling over the uneven ground, until he finally could make out a small figure under a tiny umbrella, sitting on a stone. As Natsume approached the stone, he saw an Ayakashi in form of a peaceful old man, small enough to fit in his palm.

"Why so glum, young man?" the Ayakashi asked kindly.

"I'm looking for something I've never even seen before," Natsume replied wearily and proceeded to tell the Ayakashi about his task. "So, any ideas?" he concluded, not even daring to look expectantly.

"Well," the old man scratched his chin, "the Youkai we fear came from the west, not far from here, but I don't know the exact location. Though, I do remember the exorcist who sealed it back in the old days. A nice man indeed. He used to bring dumplings to my shrine, back when I still had one…"

"Then, you know what object he used to seal the Youkai?!" Natsume interrupted the Ayakashi, hoping to finally receive his very first hint.

"I don't," the Ayakashi said in the same calm voice, "he's been a nice human, that's all I've been saying." Natsume gave him an annoyed look. He never was as polite to spirits as he was to people, and often openly showed his frustration. "This is not helping," he said impatiently, "Maybe you can still give me advice on what he might have used?"

"There's only one advice I can give you," the Ayakashi said airily, "that is, not to search alone."

Great. That was a useless piece of advice. Natsume knew how difficult it was to look on his own, but what choice did he have? He had no friends he could involve into the matter. The Ayakashi had dumped the task on him and were gone ever since. And last but not least, the only one he could actually count on, was lying under his table, pissed drunk.

"Well, thanks for nothing, then," Natsume mumbled, as he turned his back to the Ayakashi and continued his walk.

He hoped the next spirit would be of more use to him but two hours and five Ayakashi later, he had to revise his expectations. It wasn't that the Ayakashi weren't willing to offer help and provide information. He now knew that Hijishi had been asleep for one hundred years, that its roar was especially scary at night, that apparently it had no friends or it wouldn't be so mean, that it had destroyed the housings of various Ayakashi which was absolutely not acceptable, that Natsume should have first asked what the object looked like, that the weather was really cold and in the end, he simply walked away, when the last of the Ayakashi still was not finished telling him, how Hijishi's red colour was exactly the tone of ripe apples.

By now, Natsume's frustration had almost reached its peak. The task seemed impossible after all. After hours in the forest, he had not been able to collect even one useful hint, left alone got any closer to finding the item itself. Wouldn't it have been much easier to simply find a strong exorcist to seal Hijishi in the usual way? Why did they always have to involve Natsume? What was he supposed to do? He could see himself, blindly wandering around the forest until it was dark – and what then? He didn't want to return to the Fujiwara's since he could not rule out the possibility of Hijishi getting back on his track. He was almost desperate now. It was neither the kind of weather to camp outside nor did he want to bother any of his friends to take him in for the night. Just like the Fujiwara's, with him around, they would be in danger. His last hope was Nyanko-Sensei who would hopefully sober up soon enough to come looking for him. There wasn't much left for Natsume to do but to continue his seemingly aimless stroll. He could just as well keep walking, maybe he would get lucky after all and the right hint was just around the next corner.

Lost in his thoughts, he followed the small path which took a sharp bend to the left and almost collided with someone, who had been equally too distracted to mind his surroundings.

Natsume's first reflex was to apologize but when he looked up, he froze. He was staring right at Tanuma. Tanuma was staring back, just as thunder struck. At the same time they started spluttering something, neither of them could understand.

"What are you doing out here! You're supposed to be sick!" Natsume finally yelled, grabbing his friend by the shoulders.

"I… I've been feeling better," Tanuma replied with a shaky voice, trying to stifle a betraying cough, "so I decided to get some fresh air. It's just a short walk."

For a short walk, he had gone pretty far, Natsume thought. What was going on? Had Tanuma been following him too? But for what reason?

"You should go back immediately," Natsume said with an unusual force, almost shoving Tanuma to turn. He didn't care that he looked suspicious himself, all muddy and ruffled. As long as Tanuma was with him, he was in danger. Even though he claimed to feel better, Tanuma still looked visibly sick and shaky. In case of an attack, Natsume was not sure if he'd even be able to run. Panic-fuelled, guilty thoughts kept swirling inside of Natsume's head and for a lack of words he simply kept pushing Tanuma in the direction where the other boy had come from.

"Trust me, just go home," he whispered through gritted teeth when Tanuma gave him a highly questioning look. He couldn't tell the truth, could not admit that because of him, an innocent walk might turn into another nightmare. "Please," he kept pushing.

He could feel Tanuma's confusion and hesitation, but he could also tell that the other boy was not giving him his full attention. Instead, he was looking around, then back to Natsume. There was something in his look that Natsume could not read.

"Fine," Tanuma said and moved so suddenly, that Natsume almost stumbled. Tanuma's surprised look had given way to an almost cheerful smile. "I'll be going back then."

The change had happened so quickly that Natsume actually stared at Tanuma. The lack of resistance should have made him feel relieved but instead, it was worry that struck him even harder. Despite his smile, Tanuma's brows were slightly furrowed and Natsume was sure, for an instant, he has seen him wince. The next moment, Natsume knew that something was coming.

"Wait, no," Natsume reached out for Tanuma who had already started walking away hurriedly. He only managed to catch his friend's sleeve. Then, an awful roar tore through the air. With a strong tug he pulled Tanuma to the ground and then Hijishi was above them. The giant Youkai leapt over their heads, landing right on their other side. He turned quickly and his wild head was now only inches in away from them.

"Give it back…." it growled and Natsume could feel its smelly breath on his face.

Natsume's thoughts were racing while he tried to push himself in front of Tanuma who had doubled over and was now shaking furiously. He still didn't have what the Youkai was looking for and after his narrow escape earlier that day, he doubted that he would get lucky again. Especially now, that he had to take care of Tanuma who obviously would not be able to run. Once again, his mere presence had put his friend in danger. However, this also struck him with a sudden idea. A risky one but at least he'd be able to save Tanuma.

"I will!" Natsume shouted right into Hijishi's face, "I have what you're looking for." Slowly he stood up and tried to make a shaky step to the side. "Just… follow me and I'll give it back…" Natsume could feel Tanuma shift behind him but was not looking at him. Instead, he was daringly staring right into Hijishi's round yellow eyes. The Youkai didn't move.

"Come…" Natsume made another careful step and watched Hijishi turn his head. His eyes were still on Natsume. Tanuma, though he could not see the Youkai, was obviously feeling its presence. Maybe, he was even able to see a fait shadow, Natsume was not sure. He had now walked far enough to be able to look at Tanuma.

"Get away!" Natsume started at his friend, trying to silently make him understand. Tanuma was simply staring back at him with wide eyes. He didn't seem to understand. Or didn't he want to understand? Hijishi slowly turned his head back to Tanuma.

"Hey, I'm here!" Natsume shouted and threw his clenched fist up in the air, as if he was actually holding something. He needed to keep the Youkai's attention on him.

"Come on, move," he thought desperately as he kept walking backwards. Hijishi's eyes, now narrowed, were back on him. This was Tanuma's chance to finally get away, Natsume though. Please, this had to work. He could see Hijishi lower its body, ready to jump. Tanuma, behind it, was clumsily trying to move backwards. Then, Hijishi jumped. For a short moment Natsume closed his eyes, focusing on what was to come next. He expected to be swept off his feet, then to run for his life… However, nothing happened.

He could hear a loud roar then there was a stifled shout. Hijishi had jumped, but not in Natsume's direction. Instead, he had turned around and gone for Tanuma. He had knocked him off his feet and was now pinning him to the ground. Tanuma was desperately trying to push at the shadow, but could barely get a grip on it.

"No! I'm over here!" Natsume shouted, "I've got your object, I'm giving it back!" Hijishi didn't even turn. He only sank lower on Tanuma, tightening his grip even further. Tanuma's struggle became fainter and Natsume knew that there was no time to lose. He was much smaller then Hijishi, and he was not sure how to stop the beast. Still, he dashed forward to make a jump for the Youkai's back. He clawed his fingers into Hijishi's wild mane and tried to pull as hard as he could. Hijishi, however, took little notice of Natsume. He roared again and rose to his hind legs, pulling Tanuma up from the ground.

"Let him go!" Natsume yelled, trying to climb higher and grab at the Youkai's face. Over his head, Natsume could see Tanuma who, though barely conscious, was still trying to get hold of the shadow that was surrounding and crushing him. Their eyes met for a moment and Natsume was surprised to see determination in Tanuma's eyes. As if the other boy was telling him to get away in the same way Natsume had tried to do earlier.

"Run," Tanuma's voice was barely audible, but Natsume understood anyway. This was insane. Did Tanuma really expect him to leave when Natsume was the only one who could actually see the Youkai? He kept randomly grabbing at Hijishi's face, trying to inflict any kind of pain.

Apparently, this at least managed to annoy Hijishi. However, instead of letting Tanuma go, he simply started to buck wildly, trying to shake Natsume off. Natsume kept holding on but he could already feel his fingers slip. The jump that Hijishi made, came unexpected, they crashed into the trees, slamming Natsume right against a thick trunk. The pain that shot through his back, made Natsume let go and he collapsed into the bushes. Branches and leaves were slowing down his movements and he frantically struggled to get up. The crash with the tree had knocked the air out of his lungs and his surroundings were spinning. His legs would not listen and he felt petrified with fear. Right in front of his eyes, Hijishi was lifting Tanuma high in the air and shaking him violently.

"Give it to me…" it roared even louder, "give it back!"

This wasn't making any sense, Natsume thought. It should have been him. He struggled to get up, but his legs quickly gave back in under him.

Then, suddenly, he saw something small fall right to Hijishi's feet. At first, Natsume couldn't really tell what it was but then he recognized old and tattered prayer beads.

The next instant, Hijishi let go of Tanuma who crashed to the ground next to him and stared down to the prayer beads. The expression on Tanuma's face was unreadable, he weakly tried to reach out for the beads, his eyes full of terror and suddenly, Natsume understood.

This was the holy object Hijishi had been looking for.

There was no way Tanuma would be able to reach it on time. Hijishi was already leaning down, a wild and triumphant grin on his face. They were doomed, unless… Ignoring the pain his back, Natsume dashed forward. He made a clumsy jump in Hijishi's direction but only managed to stumble right to his feet. At least it was enough to reach the prayer beads. Natsume buried the item right under him, as he fell. Over him, he could feel Hijishi's surprised grunt, then an angry roar. His body didn't allow him to move any further and Natsume squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the final blow, as Hijishi reared up above him.

What came next, were another roar and a horrible crash. Hijishi was swept aside from above him and Natsume could feel a familiar soft tail brush his head and shoulders. He pulled his head back up as fast as he could to see a giant white wolf wrestle Hijishi to the side of the road, right into some trees that cracked under the mass of the two giant beasts. Leaves and branches soared through the air, as Madara tried to push Hijishi further to the ground.  
"What are you staring at, you brats?!" Madara growled without even looking at the two boys who were still lying on the ground completely petrified by what had just happened, "All I can do is keep him busy for some time, you should get going!"

"W..what? Where?!" Natsume managed to yell back.

"The holy object, stupid!" Madara snarled with annoyance, "Get it to its right place so I can put thus scum where it belongs!" Then, Madara got down on Hijishi with an even greater force. He clawed his front paws into his fur and leapt, taking the other Youkai with him. They flew through the air, crushing into more trees. "What are you waiting for, run!" Madara's voice soared through the air. Roars and wood crashing could still be heard but the fight was now moving away from them, deeper into the woods. Now that Madara had gotten a hold on Hijishi, it was on Natsume to find the place where to take him.

Helplessly, Natsume gazed around, the prayer beads still in his hands. There was no time to lose. Quickly he turned to Tanuma, who was now sitting on the ground behind him.

Questions were spinning inside of Natsume's head, but he knew that this wasn't the right time for them. Tanuma had been lying to him. He had known about Hijishi and had not trusted him enough to ask for help. This realisation had dealt Natsume a hard blow but he knew he deserved it. Getting involved with him always meant trouble.

Shaky legs or not, Natsume tried to get up as quickly as possible. He didn't know how much time Madara would be able to buy, so he needed to hurry. In the distance from behind the trees he could still hear the fight going on. He just hoped Madara would be able to keep this up for a little longer.

"I should be going now," Natsume said, hastily pocketing the prayer beads, "I won't ask you any questions," he then added, "but please go home now. You aren't safe here."

Tanuma was looking straight at him, "I'll leave as soon as I get those prayer beads back," he said with a surprising determination in his voice, gesturing at Natsume's pocket.

Natsume had not expected any protest at all. In fact, he didn't even have time for this. "I can't," he replied shortly and turned around so he wouldn't have to look at Tanuma anymore. He needed to get this over with. Tanuma had put himself into too much danger already. It was now on Natsume to finish this task.

"You don't even know where you're going!" he suddenly heard Tanuma's voice from behind him. He froze one foot in mid air. Tanuma was right. Still, he had to do it anyway.

"I do," he replied firmly, still facing away from Tanuma.

"Don't lie to me…" Tanuma's words made him freeze. Of course he was. He was lying so often that he hardly even noticed. He did so to keep his loved ones safe, this was the only thing he could do.

"Then, don't lie to me either," Natsume gave a dry reply. One part of him wanted to turn around and reach out for Tanuma, another one, however, simply wanted to walk away.

For a moment everything was quiet apart from the Youkai's fight that only Natsume could hear. Then, Tanuma spoke.

"If you're looking for the place where the beads came from, then I can show you."

Natsume did not reply. He knew this was the truth.

"There was a landslide and I found the beads lying on the ground. I thought they belonged to my dad, so I took them home. The shadow has been following me ever since. It could not get into the temple but lurking outside was still enough to make me feel really sick. After you came to visit, it suddenly vanished. I though I'd use this chance to get rid of the beads… I thought bringing them back might help…"

Everything seemed to make sense now. The sickness, Hijishi's appearance at the temple, its inability to spot Natsume at the red torii gate… Natsume could even recall seeing those very same prayer beads in Tanuma's room during his visit.

He was still standing there, his back turned to Tanuma. His thoughts were spinning and there was no time to think this through carefully. He wanted to do this alone. He was the one to deal with spirits. Involving Tanuma, actually asking him for help was something he couldn't make himself do. He heard another terrible roar in the distance, more trees seemed to be crashed and ripped out from the ground. He would never do this on time if he went alone. Truth was, he had no idea where to go and Natsume knew that he had to admit it. He couldn't finish this task without Tanuma. He swallowed. The giant lump in his throat was making it difficult to breath. Time was running. He swallowed again.

"Okay," he finally said, "But we'll have to hurry."

As Natsume turned to face Tanuma, he didn't know whether Tanuma would be able to run. Hijishi's presence as well as the fight had taken a great toll on him and by the way Tanuma was staggering, Natsume could tell that his head was still spinning. However, he also knew that this would not stop Tanuma from trying. For once, he had to let his friend do what he felt to be the right thing and to pretend that he actually trusted him to be strong enough to keep up.

"We're on our way!" Natsume shouted, hoping that Madara would hear him and then, the two of them headed off.

As quickly as the thick forest and muddy ground would allow them, they stumbled over roots and bushes and Natsume had to grudgingly admit to himself that without Tanuma he would never have known where to go. They had turned to ascend a small hill and the running became even more difficult. Not far away, Natsume could hear Madara wrestle with Hijishi, trying to drag him along. It was impossible to tell which one of the beasts was winning but as long as they managed to move towards the right direction, it was good enough for them.

He was following Tanuma, always one or two steps behind, watching his friend's clumsy yet determined movements. Natsume was trying hard to stay focused on what they needed to do. This wasn't exactly easy. His whole body felt sore and their usually comfortable silence now felt like a giant weight. Their quiet connection was off. What else was Tanuma keeping from him? Didn't he trust Natsume enough to share his problems? Was he even allowed to ask questions? He felt like he had failed as a friend. Natsume knew that he had never been particularly good at being friends with anyone but he had always believed to have this kind of special connection with Tanuma. Apparently, he had been wrong. Their friendship had always been weirdly blurred and Natsume knew that he had always been on the wrong side.

He was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts when he felt himself trip and before he could even react, he was lying flat on his stomach. The mud had absorbed his fall but didn't make the situation any more pleasant. For a moment he simply wanted to burry his face in his arms and just lie there. The day's long runs had exhausted him and his body was finally giving up on him.

"Natsume?!" he could hear Tanuma's voice from somewhere in front of him, "Come on, we're almost there!"

"Sorry, I'm coming," Natsume tried to sound polite, as he made one last effort to scramble to his feet. A feeling of complete uselessness was crashing down on him.

Madara and Hijishi seemed to be quite close too. Trees were shaking around them and the occasional roars were coming closer. Natsume made another effort, trying to follow Tanuma as fast as he could. In front of him he could already see a big old tree that lay on the ground, its roots pointing up in the air. The ground surrounding the tree was torn. Apparently, a landslide had uprooted the tree and that was, when Hijishi had been freed.

"Over here," Natsume shouted, trying to lead the way for Madara. He just wanted to follow Tanuma, when suddenly the trees beside him burst and Madara soared through the air, crushing down in front of Natsume. Madara, who now looked visibly ruffled and scratched, jumped back up quickly but Hijishi was already leaping down on him.

"Get on with it!" Madara growled, "I can't hold him forever!" The two beasts were now once again clawed into one another, wrestling for the top position. Hijishi was starting to get an upper hand while Madara was having difficulties keeping him in check. It seemed to become increasingly easier for Hijishi to free himself from Madara's grip and it was obvious that he was already trying to determine the whereabouts of the prayer beads.

It was time to act. Natsume dashed to the side, trying to get past the fight but the same moment, Hijishi finally broke free. For a short moment, he stumbled but instantly regained his balance and with a slow turn of his wild head focused his eyes on Natsume. Then, he darted forwards, Madara who had recovered from the surprising escape, was right behind him.

As Natsume saw the giant red Youkai dash towards him, his only reflex was to tighten his gip on the prayer beads. He was too slow. Desperately, he mustered the remaining strength in his legs and pushed himself off the ground. His jump was a clumsy one and he barely dodged Hijishi's massive body flying right over him. Again, wood splintered and leaves were raining down on the ground. Natsume stumbled. Strength was definitely leaving him now. His knees gave in and he fell to the ground, still tightly clutching the beads in his hand.

"Are you ok?!" he could hear Tanuma who was now running back towards him.

"Stay away, go to the tree!" Natsume shouted and made frantic hand gestures for Tanuma to retreat. Tanuma made a hesitant step back. Apparently he had understood that an invisible fight was taking place right in front of him.

Natsume could hear Madara smash into Hijishi right above his head and the two beasts rolled onto the ground only slightly missing him.

"Do it now!" Madara roared at Natsume, "I won't be able to hold him any longer!" Hijishi was struggling with a power that almost sent Madara flying again. It was a matter of seconds but this time Natsume's legs had ultimately decided not to obey him anymore. There was not much he could do. The prayer beads were heavily lying in his hand as he struggled to sit up. His eyes were fixed on the uprooted tree and then, suddenly, his gaze once again fell on Tanuma, who was still indecisively standing there, staring at Natsume.

Their eyes met and suddenly, Natsume knew what to do.

"Catch!" he shouted, tossing the beads with as much power as he could muster. Then, his view was blocked by Hijishi's giant body that was, for a last time, overpowered by Madara. Madara's fur was ruffled and sticking out in various directions. Here and there blood was trickling down his body. Natsume had never seen him in such a battered state. Once again, Madara rose on his hind legs and dived down on Hijishi, sinking his sharp teeth into the other Youkai's back. Hijishi howled with pain, as he was lifted up from the ground and with one last effort from Madara, thrown towards the uprooted tree. Natsume could only vaguely see Tanuma, who had apparently managed to catch the prayer beads just fine, run up to the tree. He was able to see the Youkai's shadows, Natsume figured, and he knew exactly what to do. Hijishi was now twisting on the torn ground and Madara had risen up in the air, just to dart back down on the uneven ground of the hillside, bringing it into motion.

The same moment when the earth and boulders came down on Hijishi, Tanuma flung the prayer beads towards the shadowy spot where he assumed the Youkai.

A great light blinded them all for a moment. One last screaming roar exploded in air, there was the sound of even more earth coming down the hill and the next instant everything was quiet.

With a soft pop Madara turned back into his usual small form of a now badly affected fat cat.

Tanuma, right beside Nyanko-Sensei, fell down to his knees.

It was over.

Natsume blankly stared at the view in front of him. He had been completely useless, unable to help anyone. As this painful thought slowly sunk in, he struggled to his still weak feet and made an indecisive step backwards.

His eyes fell on Tanuma, who was still crouching on the ground and Natsume instantly felt another stab of guilt. Apparently, Tanuma didn't even need him anymore. He could manage on his own quite well. Natsume had always imagined he'd be able to do something for Tanuma no one else could. He had hoped to be special to him. Instead, he was lied to.

Natsume took another small step back, ready to turn away and leave. He wasn't exactly in the right position to confront Tanuma. If the other boy didn't want him to know, then he would have to stay out, no matter how painful it was.

"Oi, what do you think where you're going?!" he heard Nyanko-sensei's shrill voice, "You might at least check on your poor saviour!" The cat was fidgeting on the ground, obviously unable to move properly. The fight had weakened him more then Natsume had expected.

"I'm sorry," Natsume mumbled and slowly stepped towards Nyanko-Sensei to pick him up.

Not far from him, Tanuma was obviously trying to stand up. He heard some hesitant steps that were suddenly followed by coughing. For a short moment, Natsume was confused. Hijishi was gone. There shouldn't be anything wrong now!

The coughing, however, didn't stop. Tanuma doubled over, trying to get hold of a tree trunk to steady himself.

His disappointment forgotten, Natsume quickly turned and grabbed Tanuma's arm, pulling him back up.

"I'm fine," Tanuma gasped between the coughs, "just a minute…"

Now, that Natsume was standing right next to him, he could see clearly how sick Tanuma looked. Still trying to support his friend, Natsume reached out for his face. He could feel heat, probably too much to be healthy.

"You've got a fever!" Natsume whispered. His voice was shaking.

"Well, this would explain a lot…" Tanuma sighed and smiled at him apologetically.

"I thought the Youkai was affecting you…!" Had this been another lie?

"Well… That's what I thought too," came Tanuma's quiet reply, "I can never tell these things apart… Colds and spirits…"

Natsume closed his eyes with relief. A cold was something they could deal with. Still, they were in the middle of nowhere, both dirty and frozen.

"Oiiii!" a loud shriek came from somewhere beside them.

Nyanko-Sensei! Natsume had already forgotten about him. Just as much, as he had forgotten about his previous thoughts.

Awkwardly, he loosened his grip on Tanuma's arm. Just a few moments ago he had been about to walk away and simply leave the other boy, who apparently no longer needed him. But still, he couldn't shake away the feeling that he was the one who wanted to be there for Tanuma, no matter what. Being needed made him feel alive. He was more then some fleeting ghost that on one ever stopped to look at long enough. Tanuma's arm in his hand felt warm and solid. Maybe Tanuma didn't need him to deal with spirits. But as long as there was still the tiniest thing Natsume could do for him, he would be there.

With a quick step, Natsume was close enough to pick up Nyanko-Sensei with one arm. His other arm, he offered to Tanuma.

"You should lean on me," he said, "I'll walk you home. It's easier that way." And he could feel his heart clench, when Tanuma shyly curled his arm around his.

There it was again, the blurred line of their friendship. Just as happy as it made Natsume to feel Tanuma's weight against his body, the feeling was also a bitter one. No matter what they did, they would always end up so far apart.

Natsume sighed, as they slowly started walking. It was dark already and they had to huddle even closer for warmth. Again, they were moving in silence, trying to pay attention to where they were going.

This time, the silence didn't feel as strange anymore. They were close together. Their bodies were rubbing against each other as they walked and Tanuma's firm grip on his arm spoke of trust and gratefulness. Natsume felt so lonely that it hurt. Their occasional touches, their gentleness, the need for each other's closeness, the warm fuzzy feeling, and still, they could never get close enough. No matter how he felt, he would never be able to say all these things out loud. As if they were separated by a wall of lies.

The trees around them were starting to clear and the road was getting broader. It wasn't far now. In his other arm, Nyanko-Sensei was snoring quietly. At least someone without worries, Natsume thought. In font of them, they could now make out faint lights from the temple. Tough, it would take him longer to get back to the Fujiwara's. They must have been worried sick by now. What a mess. Natsume thought about his dirty clothes and cringed. He would have to do some serious explaining and he knew that he was far too tired to think of something remotely convincing. But then again, this was his life. He should have gotten used to it by now.

There they were. Still a gloomy place, Natsume thought. He felt Tanuma let go of his arm and then there was a faint "I'm sorry."

"What? Oh, no," Natsume replied caught off guard, "this was nothing, really!"

"I mean," Tanuma paused, "for everything."

Natsume could feel blood rushing to his face. Thank god it was dark enough to hide his blush.

"No, really!" Natsume mumbled, "You haven't done anything wrong. I… I…" He wasn't sure whether to actually say it.

"I… I'm the one who's sorry," he let his head sink. There it was. "I'm sorry for always intruding so much. I didn't realise there were things you didn't want me to know," now the words came flooding out of his mouth, "Please don't think poorly of me. I will make sure to keep my distance!" He was almost pleading.

Natsume didn't know what he was expecting but it was most certainly not to be almost swept off his feet by a sudden hug. Tanuma had wordlessly flung his arms around him, burying his face in Natsume's shoulder. Natsume could still feel the other boy shiver and awkwardly put one arm on his back. With the other he was trying to balance Nyanko-Sensei, so to not wake him up.

"I'm sorry," Natsume repeated hesitantly.

"What are you talking about?" Tanuma's words were muffled but Natsume could still understand, "To keep your distance…" He was obviously at a loss of words. Instead, his arms wrapped even tighter around Natsume.

"I…" Tanuma's whisper was almost inaudible now, "I didn't tell you because I wanted to keep you safe… You have enough on you plate already. I didn't want you to go off and get hurt… Because you always do. But then, by lying to you, I made everything worse and put you in even more danger…" Natsume was sure he had just heard a stifled sob. "I'm scared. I don't want anything to happen to you…"

A whole lot of different feelings burst inside of Natsume. His chest clenched painfully but it was an old sweet pain. As if Tanuma had just voiced something he had tried to keep hidden himself. Natsume often lied to his friends, this was true. Lying had become a habit of his and he had long ago stopped thinking of it as something bad. He lied to keep them safe. He was doing it for them. Because they were important to him.

"Me too…" was the only thing Natsume could whisper and he pressed his cheek against Tanuma's hair. Hopefully, Nyanko-Sensei would just sleep on. He didn't feel like having to explain any of this. Then, he planted a brief kiss on the other boy's cheek.

"I can't promise that I won't do this again," Natsume muttered. He knew himself well enough. "But I don't want to leave you..."

"I don't want to leave you either…" Tanuma raised his head a little to look into Natsume's eyes.

Natsume was still not used to these moments. It wasn't their first one and he could tell by the warm and fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach what he wanted to happen next. Still, he was too nervous. A lot had happened this day and his feelings were an incomprehensible mess. He could hardly believe what had been said only moments earlier and that the wall between them was crumbling, while their blurry line of friendship became even more blurred.

"I… I… should get going!" Natsume suddenly spluttered and made a hesitant step backwards. Had he really just said that? Idiot!

Tanuma's puzzled look instantly made him feel even worse.

"Touko-san is waiting," he mumbled, but he already knew that he would rather keep standing with Tanuma in the cold in front of the dark temple, then be stumbling home, trying to come up with excuses.

"Don't you want to come in?" Tanuma asked, still looking at him questioningly, "Have you seen what you look like?"

Natsume hadn't, but he could imagine it pretty well.

"You wouldn't want to scare Touko-san," Tanuma continued quietly, taking Natsume's hand and pulling him gently, "It's not too late to call her… If you want to, I mean."

For a moment, Natsume hesitated. All recent worries came rushing at him and then he finally made a step forwards.

"Thank you," he smiled, "It would be great help if I could clean my things first…"

Natsume knew his way around the temple. He had visited often enough.

His things were now spread out in the washroom and he was wearing some clean clothes Tanuma had given to him. They were a little too big for him, but comfortable enough. Tea was already brewing in the kitchen, Nyanko-sensei was snoring in the living room and Natsume decided it was time to pick up the phone.

"Touko-san?" he asked when he heard a familiar voice.

"Takashi-kun?" there was worry in her voice, "Goodness, where have you been?"

"I'm sorry…" Natsume meant what he said, "I'm at a friend's house."

There was a moment of silence. Natsume tried to think of what to say. It was easy to tell her that they've been playing Shogi all day and he had simply lost track of time. That he had been invited by a friend's parents and it would have been rude to refuse.

"I got really wet and dirty outside," he said, "I haven't been careful enough and fell."

He was interrupted by Tokou's exclamation, but hurriedly continued: "I'm fine! I'm just somewhat dirty, that's all. Tanuma has been there with me and has offered to stay and warm myself up."

"Oooh, Takashi-kun. Please be more careful next time. That's really kind of your friend," Tokou was now calming down, "but don't be too much of a bother!"

"I won't," Natsume replied politely.

Touko was as kind and caring as ever and Natsume felt relieved that he had decided to tell the truth. He was tired and his whole body was sore, so he was even more grateful, when Touko's only condition to let him stay at Tanuma's house over night, was that the boys wouldn't stay awake for too long.

"We surely won't," Natsume smiled, "Thank you."

He felt finally calm and peaceful, when he hung up the phone and fetched the hot tea from the kitchen. Tanuma had at first protested to let Natsume do all the work, but had then to admit that it had taken him the last bit of strength to reach his bed. This was fine with Natsume though.

"Here you go," Natsume said with a calm smile, walking into the room and holding one cup out to Tanuma. Then he settled down on the bed, right next to his friend.

"You should be careful or you'll catch my cold," Tanuma said cautiously, shifting a little further towards the wall.

"After what I've done today, I'll catch one anyway," Natsume almost chuckled. Tanuma had understood and moved again, making place for Natsume.

The blanket was already warm when Natsume spread his legs under it and leaned against his friend.

"I'm glad you're here," Tanuma said quietly, sipping his tea.

"I'm glad too," Natsume replied with a smile, "it's been lonely on my own."

Their silence once again had become comfortable. The small touches were enough to tell each other how they felt. After they had finally managed to say the right words, the invisible wall between them had quickly crumbled. They were leaning on each other, both completely exhausted, accepting the weak support the other had to offer.

Again, Natsume thought about shifting even closer. Earlier, at the front door, he hadn't been sure, but it was actually pretty clear now that no matter how blurred the line between friendship and… he didn't even know what to call it, was right now, he was on the right side. He wasn't sure if it was the safe one. Probably not. But it was the right one.

Next to him, Tanuma yawned and stretched out to place his empty cup on the bedside table. When he settled back next to Natsume, their eyes met and Natsume smiled without breaking the silence. Tanuma smiled back, blinking at him tiredly but also expectantly. It was one of these moments. Slowly, Natsume leaned forward. His eyes were fixed on Tanuma's, carefully looking for any hints in the other boy's face. Two shy hands were placed on both sides of Natsume's face and he was pulled even closer. Their noses touched lightly and Natsume smiled, lifting his chin and finally allowing their lips to meet.

This lazy, comfortable kiss was different from their other few kisses. It wasn't awkward or desperate. It was simply warm and cosy and made Natsume feel completely safe. This was where he belonged and where he wanted to be.

He knew that whatever they had would be difficult for a very long time. Not just because of spirits but also because of their fears and insecurities. The more they feared for one another, the more they lied. The bigger the lies, the more they ended up in even more danger. Trust was a simple word but for them, it was something they hoped yet to learn. It surely wasn't the last time they would lie and hide things from one another, but Natsume also hoped that it might be the last time these lies put a wall between them. And maybe, one day, they might learn to show their affection and keep each other safe by telling the truth. One day, they might actually learn the meaning of trust.


End file.
